You really need to give crabgrass (Digitaria sp.) some props. It comes up out of the cracks in my (permeable, pavers-in-sand) driveway in the middle of the absolutely dry Oregon summer, in the midst of a weeklong 100+F heatwave. It’s green, pliable, even moist underneath, like nothing unusual is going on.
Why not just convert the whole lawn to this and be done? Or, alternatively, convert the driveway to a giant Scrabble board.
There will be plenty of time to pull weeds while your opponent agonizes over what to do with EEQAGIE.